Runis

   Posted on DoodleOrDie many years ago. I will tell you an incredible but true story about one of the most peculiar animals of the woods. He was a moose. "A moose", you might say. Surely you have seen stranger animals than a moose. How about an ostrich or a blobfish or a crab? Well. No. This was not just any moose. He had just returned north to his Scandinavian homelands after visiting his cousin in the south of Germany. His oldest cousin Mooselle and her husband Antlony were constantly verbally reliving their lack of highlights from what seemed a boring visit to the mountains of Denmark, although with much enthusiasm. He did not even understand their accent. But he also had a younger cousin, Hoovebert, an adventurous fellow who was visiting as well on his passing to France. "It's true, I saw one", he told our moose. "A phelant?". "An elephant". Hoovebert was talking with him the same morning they both would depart, though in separate ways. ...

Abstract: Veganism as an indiscriminate principle of harm-reduction to all animals (farmed and wild) is not supported by the VeganSociety definition of veganism, nor can it be inferred from the general behaviour of vegans. Instead it's an ethical stance against the exploitation/commodification of animals and a rights issue. I'm writing this only to address what seems like an unending critique of the way vegans express what veganism is about. Argumenting for veganism as minimization of harm to animals Here's a common line of argumentation: "But what about crop deaths? Surely rodents and other small animals are killed during harvest, bugs killed with pesticides to protect plants. To claim animals don't get killed for your food is simply false and dishonest." "We do acknowledge those deaths - but veganism is about reducing suffering as much as practically possible to animals. Currently, while vegans would not choose to do agriculture this way, it...

The big sunflower named Big Sunflower who could also walk and talk stood on its only two hind legs, leaned in closer to the most botanic plant in the plant collective and said quietly: "I acknowledge that this is a total improvisation on my part. I'm a grown flower, and I've sat in here for too long, specifically my whole life. Let's go out and see the world, oh you're a stationary plant." - Big Sunflower And so it was off alone, genderless as it was, out the door, out the window. The window was outside the door, it made sense in this universe. As Big Sunflower strolled across the lawn and passed the phone booth, the phone conveniently rang and the main character of the story which is a big sunflower picked up the phone. "HELLO!" - Big Sunflower, 2019. "Hi, we're calling from a gameshow. We call phone booths. Please help, you're the first one to pick up the last three hours." - Gameshow host. "Do I get to name the g...

Making horsies as usual. Someone: I'm afraid to ask why would you need such a detailed horse... Well, I religiously practice neighanity in fear that when horses rise above and enslave the human race to carry carrots and care for cargo and carelessly act as their cars, they will see me as their equal and grant me an outhouse in which I can practice my craft and make proud memorials of their excellent long faces and noses and puns regarding hay and neighing. Two weeks later they instruct me to build a trojan horse. I go along with it, I'm on their side. They enter and have humans pull the giant wooden horse across the country to the residence of the up and coming beetles. Long have they been an invading pest, but the horses extend a hoove in peace. The beetles accept. I'm inside with the horses, they don't realize I'm a human by now. I don't care, I give the signal. It's night time and the beetles are outside roasting peanuts over a cam...